Sept 9: Heavy load

Sure, we've all had those days, when thru no fault of our own, some idiot causes us to be the butt of jokes and possibly even puts us in, might I say, a dangerous position. In this case, this poor horse has been asked to pull a heavy load, but not just heavy, but badly loaded. Oh, to get my feet back on the ground! Beast of burden for sure, but if this load needed to be moved in North America, Dobbin would be left in the pasture and the family work truck, the North American pick-up or some other truck would have been put to good use. And if you've been paying attention to the ads, you can see that they can pull almost anything.

Question. Why is it that in all the ads bragging about what a Ford, Chev or Ram can pull, they are shown with this similar load.........

You got it, in each case the ad says that this truck can pull a million tons and they show it pulling a tractor of some sort. Are there that many tractors that need moving? Now, I've seen lots of pick-ups pulling lots of varied loads, but rarely an excavator or some other piece of construction equipment. Just wondering, that's all. But that is simply a side observation, what I'm getting at, is plan the load and pull what your equipment is meant to pull.

Great ad, but unlikely we'll ever see a Touareg at Frankfurt airport pulling a 747, but you get the point. Right? (what is the point, anyway?)

But what about when some poor soul hasn't gotten the point?

Moving can be expensive, but this old Pontiac might be giving its all with this one last load, assuming of course that it even makes it. What, no friends with a pick-up? Maybe no friends at all. Wonder who's got his mattress?

But stupidity, or should we say optimism, isn't restricted to North America. Think the Poncho above was being strained to its limit? Nothing compared to this Russian merchant, saving some coin by making his family sedan the work horse for his thriving fruit and vegetable business.

Might be tough getting up to speed even on a sidewalk, but that's a worry for later. Better he should invest in a truck that is better suited to the job at hand, like this one.......

Putting those blind spot monitors and back up sensors to good use (ie: the folks riding on top), as this heavy load wends its way to wherever. Might be a good idea, if the dude at the top puts out his cigarette or whatever they smoke in his corner of the world.

No matter the extreme load, these guys used a vehicle suited to the task, even if the manufacturer never planned it that way. Creativity or necessity is being shown here......

Obviously the local transit system is using one vehicle to carry parcels and transport their paying customers. In our city, we use trucks and buses to perform these tasks, but not everyone has this luxury. Maybe this pic wasn't taken in North America?

 No pick up or other truck available and the local horse was already out of commission?

Yes, I know it seems strange and possibly even cruel, but have you priced out a new pick-up lately? Put a few tasty options on one and the $50k figure rapidly disappears in the rearview mirror. So, your bike is the only option. Obviously it helps when the jars are empty. Heck, any one of us would be up to this task.

A couple of other over achievers and under thinkers..........

For god's sake, would someone haul out the manual and check out the gross vehicle weight capabilities and see if, just maybe you've over estimated the toughness of your work truck. I mean, what is wrong with these guys (and I assume that they are guys)?

I always say, use the best tool for the job at hand. Well, maybe I don't always say it, but it's implied. This smart car owner thinks like me and is not over estimating what his tiny car can do........

......while this Ram driver knows exactly what his big bruiser can accomplish......

......and again with those tractors. So think about it folks. You've got a heavy load that no beast of burden can possibly move for you (nor should it), then turn to the most capable vehicle available and don't put your poor horse, your old truck or the family car thru hell, just because you want to save a bit of coin.

Another life lesson, courtesy of the Wheel to Wheel blog.

Until next time.......

Sept 6: Model with a back story

Personal taste. Everything is personal taste, unless of course, it isn't. Take for example that fifty year old car on the left. This is the 1965 Plymouth Satellite, top model of the "new" intermediate Belvedere line. One of my favorite designs ever. To me, this car is beautifully proportioned. To us in Canada, it was forbidden fruit, since it was a US only model. My thoughts aside, what makes this car interesting is where it came from and how it got to be the mid-sized Satellite of the new for 1965 Plymouth line. Stay awake, as this is mildly interesting.

Let's use my models as an educational tool here and go back to 1962 and 1963.......

The turquoise convertible (no cabrio back in the day) is the new, full sized Plymouth for 1962. Downsized due to incorrect information, when every other new car had stayed the same or gotten bigger. Also, the design was bastardized, as originally it was meant for a full sized car. A last minute panic attack, based on this incorrect info, led the big Plymouth to be shrunk. And as you can see, it just didn't work with this car. Even a bigger version might not have worked, but the design certainly looked awkward on the smaller body.

Having realized their error, when the other car companies unveiled their '62's, Plymouth had to hustle to redo their '63's (like the buttercup yellow Fury hardtop in these pics) to give it a buyer friendly, acceptable bigger car look, even though it was still smaller than the competition. You can easily see the more acceptable and more conventional looking redesign.

Now this is where it gets interesting (yes, I appreciate your patience). New, full sized Plymouths were planned for 1965, but Plymouth wouldn't have an intermediate car until the next year, so presto and the smaller full size Fury model of previous years, now became the new Belvedere/Satellite intermediate. One year a "big" car, the next year a demotion to intermediate. Oh, the shame! But with the tweaks given this design, it came out very well and as I said, I really liked the result (and I still do)...........

Now compare it to the origin and strange looking 1962 car from whence it came.......

Every line made better and more appealing. So from a strange looking "big" car, it evolved into a great looking intermediate. Remember through all of this, the sixties were a time when the designs changed every couple of years and usually had major updates every year, so not surprising to see how Plymouth was able to evolve this design over three years.

A favorite design, now a favorite new model (I bought three of them), that the CMC (Car Modeling Cat) and I completed on the weekend. As usual, she is a willing helper and always has ideas of how to inject herself into our builds (sometimes aggravatingly so).........

So there you have it, the CMC and I bring to life an interesting story from the distant (gee, it doesn't seem that long ago) past. Who said these blogs weren't interesting and informative? And those of you who did, can leave the room now.

Until next time.......

Sept 2: Finally Porsche!

P-O-R-S-C-H-E. Say the word and the room goes quiet. Everyone is listening to hear what is going to be said about the world's and everywhere else's favorite sportscar. Yeah, maybe this is an exaggeration, but ever hear anything bad about this car? Sure, there was the original Turbo that could kill you, if you lifted, while in the midst of a corner, taken just a little bit too aggressively (look it up). But 99.99% of the time, this iconic car is put on a pedestal for all of us mere mortals to bow down before. It can't be perfect, can it? Where might it fall down? Well, this is a personal opinion (aren't they all?), but Porsche has produced some stinkers when it comes to looks. Let's take a look........

If you are wondering what you are supposed to be looking at, it's those ugly lights on the red Turbo. Just ask any Porsche owner, which recent model that they would shun and almost without exception, they'll point to the one with those ugly headlights. Nothing like the simple beauty of the later model below. Look, I understand, when you are tasked with redesigning the same car for fifty years, making it different while making it look the same, it's hard not to slip into mediocrity once in awhile.

Now with apologies to my friend and Targa owner, Keith, the next model that assaults my senses is the original Targa........

.......which anyone can see is frumpy and upright. The current generation below it, is drop dead gorgeous and to me out shines the iconic coupe in looks. It took those Porsche designers quite a while to get this one right, but the wait was worth it.

When Porsche decided they needed an suv (a very smart decision), they unveiled the Cayenne to almost unniversal dismay. Witness the gasps of horror or whatever, from the motoring press, when the wrap was taken off of this frog in the top pic........

Once again, the second time around proved the charm, as the current model looks great. Interesting that they sure nailed it with the new Macan (lesson learned?).

One thing to keep in mind through all of this ranting, is that Porsche sales have never suffered, even with these questionable efforts. But as a friend once said, it doesn't cost any more to design a good looking car, so why design an ugly one? Good point. But looking at those sales, why bother? Hey fellas, ever heard of something called pride?

Next up..........one of Porsche's biggest successes has been the atrocious Panamera........

This misbegotten design of a car, humpback and all, has unfortunately been with us for the past several years. I cringe every time I see one. Put the proud Porsche name on an ugly duckling and the sales make it a beautiful swan. But it is still that ugly duckling. Stay tuned folks, because Porsche is just about ready to right this visual wrong.........

This is the next Panamera, that should reach Porsche showrooms in the very near future. Every bit as good looking as the 911 coupe, this is the way the original should have come out of the designers' oven. Can't wait to see this car on the streets shaming the misbegotten original. If there is any justice, the used car lots should be filled with the original Panameras within the year. Or just send them all to the crusher, since they were/are such an affront to good design taste. 

So there you have it. Porsche can't do anything wrong, but as I've shown you, they do plenty wrong visually. Too bad those design misfits were such good handling cars, if they weren't, then we'd really have something to rant about.

Until next time........

Aug 30: How smart?

Now, let's get this straight right off the bat.......when I write smart in regards to the car, the "s" is not capitalized. Get it? Ok? I sure don't want to have the grammar techies chasing after me, saying that since it is a proper name, it should be capitalized. Since there is nothing "proper" about a smart car, it stays lower case. Whew! Now that's out of the way.

Seen a smart car before? Sure you have. Seen 1635 before? In one place? If you have, then you were in Hamburg, Germany recently for the smart gathering or whatever they call it, when these tiny cars congregate in one place to try and set some sort of unnecessary record.

 More smarts than you could shake a stick at, assuming you are the type of person who shakes sticks at smart cars. If you are, then your shaking arm has been packed in ice for the past few days (only the Queen is used to this type of thing). Imagine seeing that many of these odd little conveyances in one place? And no one is asking, "So, what do you drive?".

Imagine a smart and you'd see it in Hamburg. You'd even see ones, that you couldn't (or wouldn't want to) imagine? From a "monster" smart (it's all relative, ok?).........

.........to a stretch limo smart for those unpretentious, but smart, celebs.......

........to the whatever this one is supposed to be........

Think the world is crying out for a pick-up smart? If you can think it, some bright soul has transformed a smart into it. If you said, what about a popemobile? No, nice try, but think again, as a smart has been transformed into that one as well.......

Watch for it the next time his holiness comes to your town.

And production smarts to cover several niches. From the sportscar(?) smart.........

........to the family four door smart..........

..........to the decapitated smart for that "real bugs in your teeth" Sunday drive........

Yep, Hamburg was the place to be to see every type of smart and in multiples. Wait, you say that you have finally imagined a smart, that you are sure hasn't been done yet. Nope, wrong again, as some dubious soul has beaten your active imagination to the punch with this royally modified smart........

As I said initially, more smarts than you could imagine and every imaginable smart. And if you think that when you seen one smart car, you've seen them all, just ask all these attentive spectators why they are showing up in the thousands to view what are essentially the same car.........

Beats me.

Until next time.......

Aug 26: Lambo dreams

Ah, those memories! Nothing says SEX like a Lamborghini and back in the day, I remember fantasizing over this car (and quite possibly the rather hot looking, leather wrapped damsel leaning against it), when it appeared on the cover of Car & Driver magazine back in the '70's. Matter of fact, I think I only turfed it last year, when we moved from our house to the apartment. Probably fantasized then as well, as I packed it off to one of my friends. Lamborghini. If a guy didn't have a poster of a sports hero on his bedroom wall, he had a Lamborghini or maybe he had both. And it would have been the Countach........

Ever see one of these things driving towards you? Like looking at a flying door stop. For a car person, it is an amazing looking car. This is the car that made Lambo's reputation. This is the car that established the brand as the home of outrageous looking cars, named after famous fighting bulls (did you know that?). Didn't start out that way, with the design or the names.......

......but things evolved, as you can see with the lovely Muira from 1966, the first Lamborghini to be named after a bull.........

.........followed shortly by the unusual, pancake looking Espada.......

 This one followed the Muira by two years. Not named after a bull, but for the sword the matador uses to finish off the poor, unfortunate beast. Ok, those two established Lamborghini as a legitimate contender. Possibly even as competition for the hallowed Ferrari. But it was the Countach, that firmly set the future path this company would take.

Fast forward to the present day and the wildest Lambo to date, the oh so exclusive Veneno.......

Carrying on in the tradition of extremely wild designs, the Veneno would be very rare to the tune of a mere three units. One guess as to where those three were probably headed. You just know, it wasn't going to be Saint John, New Brunswick. One recently came back on the market for $11 million USD (Google it if you are interested).

But who can even contemplate air this rare? No, for us mere mortals the standard Lambo line up is far easier to accept and maybe even possible to own, if those dam lottery tickets would finally pay off. Cars like the subtle(?) by comparison Huracan........

Or the less than subtle Aventador.........

.....in your choice of coupe or roadster. The latter is much better to be seen in and who wants to spend all that coin and be subtle about it? No sir, flaunt it to the world. Saw a roadster going down my street the other day and I got to tell you, it sure did make a statement. No one seeing it would think that it was the new Honda.

Which brings us to last week's Pebble Beach Concours. This high society event has grown to become a car person's nirvana. Everything one could ever want shows up there and now the manufacturers use it as a venue to shown off new concept cars or a new model. Now understand, Honda and Toyota won't be unveiling anything there anytime soon, but Mercedes, Cadillac and this year Lamborghini stepped up in a big way.

Trust wild and crazy Lamborghini to wow the champagne and caviar crowd with the latest Centenario, in this case the roadster.......

I could bore you with power outputs, buts let's be honest, you know that it will be plenty, so enough said. A volume model compared the ultra rare, Veneno, there will be forty made, twenty coupes, twenty roadsters. You better know, that if you haven't already reserved one, you are s___ out of luck, no matter how much you won in last weekend's lottery.

Ah, Lamborghini. Again, nothing says SEX like a Lamborghini. Nothing says, nail me to your bedroom wall, like a pic of their latest wild creation from Italy. And what Lamborghini picture would be complete without a comely damsel draping her sensuous body over its sensuous body? Let the fantasies begin.

Until next time........