A toast to affluence

Let's make a toast to affluence...........

Sit back in those ultra cozy, baby bottom soft, fully reclining, Nappa leather seats. You know, those heated and cooled ones, with the calf massaging feature. Now that is luxury. And while those calves are getting that oh, so soothing massage, pick up the pad on the rear console and from this lap of luxury use it to control EVERY feature in your chauffeur driven land yacht.

What is this luxo barge, that has these wonderful features, that mere mortals like myself can never even hope to aspire to, unless those lotto tickets, that I refuse to buy, finally ring my bell?

Ah yes, that ultimate of Mercedes, the Maybach......

About twenty years ago, Mercedes decided to dredge up the famous old Maybach name, last used in the 1930's for an impressive ride, that stood out in the Black Forest and among the castles along the Rhine. Yes sir, it fit right in.........

In the early 2000's Benz slapped that name on a hoped for Rolls-Royce rival. Problem? While the Rolls had the look, the Maybach had styling so subtle, that even the most informed car person could miss it in an empty parking lot. Sales were as dismal as one might expect. Finally it was given the axe. 

Realizing that the actual name Maybach, still had some sort of cache', Benz decided to  bring it back as a ne plus ultra version of the S Class, itself a pretty impressive carriage. Make some changes, like a longer wheelbase to give those back seat owners tons of leg room. Add those valued extras like a thirty(!) speaker sound system, massaging calf seats and power rear doors (opening and closing the door yourself is so yesterday). Jack the price up into Bentley territory (slightly under $300k) and give it a go. It worked!

Add a few exclusive colours, ten two tones and then stand back and take orders. Oh, one thing before you open that order book. Be sure to let your wealthy clientele know, that those very nice two tones will add $15,000 CDN to their bill. Who cares, you ask? Probably no one considering this model.

Not a sedan buyer? Be patient as this GLS based suv is also coming soon........

Same thing applies to this model as the sedan, if you have to ask the coin needed for the entrance fee, then please don't slam the door as you leave the dealership.

Sure the Maybach is subtle. Watch out for that front end, also a longer looking S Class body. If all else fails, read the dam name on the back.........

.......and know how your fellow driver spends their money.

Until next time.........

Above all else, make it noticeable

When BMW decided to get into the EV business, they did so with this funny little gnome of a car, the i3.........

Strange looking in every way. I'm distressed to say, that when my wife saw one for the first time, she liked it! I have learned to live that down and accept that my exquisite taste in cars, is not always shared by others. BMW obviously wanted to have their EV noticed, much like Toyota's hybrid, the Prius. Like it or hate it, it's a Prius and it gets noticed. Selling from a stripper model at $47,000 CDN to a loaded up one at $69,000, the i3 impressed few and it has quietly been pulled from BMW's EV table.

Another Bimmer EV, the i8, that was intro'd at the same time has suffered a similar fate........

Although totally different cars, both of these shared one common element, the "Hey, look at me!" factor. A bit pricier than the i3, this one topped out just shy of $200 large.

Obviously BMW has this thing about their EV's standing out from the crowd. From the past to the present and the just unveiled iX..........

Less objectionable style-wise than those earlier EV's, but still a BMW that really doesn't want to look at itself in a mirror, at least not from the front. I guess like many oddities, this one will look better as time goes by. I still hesitate to embrace that new Bimmer grille, but here it is not the stylist's worse nightmare. Not as scary as on the new coupes.

The interior.......

Like with many of the new EV's, the dash is simplistic and loaded with those multiple screens, that are becoming the EV norm.

Price? Well, this model is a ways time-wise from local driveways, but let's just say there won't be much change from a $100,000 bank draft.

Be noticed while saving money at the pumps. Call your local BMW dealer and stand out in more than one way.

Until next time......

Step aside Aztec

 The queen is dead, long live the queen? Well, maybe not, as this queen of ugliness has been knocked off of her throne.........

 Of course, any true car aficionado knew that I was talking about that old charmer, the Pontiac Aztec (the Fiat Multipla was also a strong contender).

A few years ago (where does the time go?) I blogged about Atulux Automotive, an Italian design house, that has been round for thirteen (an unlucky number?) years modifying other manufacturer's vehicles into luxurious, but strange conveyances. Take for example that weird Antulux Ram 1500........

 An expensive oddity, that came close to deposing the poor old Aztec. Close but no cigar.

Time changes everything and Atulux is up to their old modification tricks, still looking for a good idea and still not finding one. Obviously those design school drop outs have found a welcoming home at Antulux. Behold their latest Frankenstein-like beast, the Palladium.......

What is this creation you ask? Going back to the Ram, which they love so much, Antulux has found yet another way to assault our senses. Want a Ram, but good taste evades you? Then maybe this is your kind of ride. Act fast, since Antulux will, thankfully, only be making ten of these. No, The Drake, has better taste, but I wonder about those oil sheiks or possibly a Russian oligarch? There must be enough bad taste floating around our world, that churning out ten of these unusually modified Ram pick-ups and then selling them should be doable. Price? Read on.

This is still a Ram 1500 pick-up motivated by a Hellcat Hemi, so at least they got that right. 

A closer look?

Sure, for $300K plus USD, this interior should look less truck like, although these days, pick-ups are far from spartan work trucks (unless, they are actually spartan work trucks). Done in good taste? Hardly, but it does match the exterior strangeness.

Want more?

Not sure what or why this is? Of course, it is a trunk, but it might be a drawer. A drawer that is also a trunk? Either way, look at what $300,000 USD gets the well healed of our planet.

So, do I get a seconder to my motion to remove the good ol' Aztec from the ugliest vehicle of all time and slot in this new contender? Rebuttals are welcomed and ignored.

Until next time........

Resurrecting a brand

 A case study in how not to introduce a new brand of automobile.......

Way back in the late '80's, Nissan wanted to enter the luxury market to compete against Lexus. Both companies realized, that raising the price of a Nissan or Toyota in North America could only go so far, before people balked and said, "It's still a Toyota!" or a Nissan. The solution? Invent a new name and build a luxury line up under that name's umbrella.

Lexus started out like this.......

.......while Infiniti showed pictures of tree branches and mountain streams, trying to sell a concept or a feeling. Thirty years later, we all know and worship Lexus, but what about Infiniti? Well, they quickly found that the luxury buyers cared more about what their dollars would actually buy them, than the beauty of nature and an idea. From that stumbling start, poor old Infiniti has never recovered and has never won the hearts and wallets of the upper class like Lexus.

It's not that Infiniti didn't have some great moments and products. For example, the G35 from the early 2000's, which eventually became the Q50........

From its inception, a car that could hold its own against most other sport sedans. But herein lies Infiniti's problem. This is a fast moving world and nothing stands still for long. Infiniti thought it did, and kept its models (cars and suvs) on the market far too long without changing them. This didn't work then and doesn't work now. 

Another example, the Bionic Cheetah (their name, not mine), which also stayed way too long at the party.........

By the by the time an interesting new product is brought to market, like the QX50......

........the buying public has forgotten about the brand and moved on. Infiniti has to gain folks attention all over again, "Hey, remember us?". A lesson which should have been learned in Marketing 101.

An interesting aside.........in other parts of the world Lexus vehicles have been sold as Toyotas. I guess the Europeans aren't as snobby as us in North America. Recently though, that has changed and Lexus is now its own brand. Must be that Lexus has become such a valued nameplate, that it should be rolled out around the globe.

Back to Infiniti. Once again, they are trying to resurrect the brand showing these stunning concepts, the Inspiration sedan and the QX Monograph suv......

Either one should set the car world a buzz and have lots of people, socially distanced, of course, going to Infiniti showrooms. That problem again, will people remember who Infiniti is and what it stands for? Will they reinvent themselves yet again?

Say what you will about Lexus, they have successfully stayed on message for over thirty years, while Infiniti flops around like a fish out of water. Will this time be the charm?

Until next time.....

Electrifying evolution

Remember this rough and tough military vehicle, that you've seen in every action movie made in the past twenty years? I believe it's a mandatory prop. Watch the TV news? Any story about military action in the Middle East has these driven by either the good or bad guys or both. For almost thirty years this has been an iconic military vehicle. It's name for those of you just emerging from a thirty year cave hibernation is the Hummer H1.

Wide, high, ugly and intimidating.

With those thoughts in mind, some bright soul named Arnie S. (hint: future governor of California) thought it would be a great civilian ride and asked its manufacturer, AM General, to whip him up one to use in the mean streets of Los Angeles.

They did and so the story begins......... 

 

 

 

This almost perfect military icon found a home in the driveways of the rich and (maybe) famous. A few also found their way into construction or mining companies, where they actually belonged. But we live in a crazy (Donald Trump, president???) and often illogical (ditto) world and this beast became a status symbol. I've lost a lot of hair from head scratching over this move.

The Hummer became so popular that the then mighty General Motors bought the rights to the name and tried to make Hummer an upscale Jeep competitor with models like the H2, based on the Chevy Tahoe.....

.........and then the poorly received H3, based on Chevy's under powered, junior pick-up, the Colorado........

.........and finally oblivion. Too much of a good thing, bad marketing or bastardizing the brand? Pick one.

And now to 2020 and the current evolution of this military and insurgent's tool.......

Does the phrase, "I'll be back." seem appropriate here? Yes, the Hummer lives on for 2022 as a pure luxury EV!  This one will never reach foreign battle fields (a truce is called while the Hummers are being recharged)  -  you get the picture.

Actually the Hummer name seems to suit an electric vehicle (although they make no noise at all). To make this new Hummer more versatile, it has some Jeep like features.......

Remove the roof, so better to be seen by your less fortunate neighbours. You know them, they are the ones who didn't invest in Tesla stock.

So how will this new EV fare against all the other planned, but yet to hit the market electric pick-ups (Rivian, Tesla, Bollinger, etc)? It has the name, but I wonder if it still has any of the cache Arnie once thought it had? Another EV flash in the pan or will it become the darling of the let's look tough, although we're not set?

Due Fall 2021 as a 2022 model, the reservation bank is already full, but intro is a full year away. Lots can happen. Maybe even more electrifying news?

Until next time........

Everyone makes mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is entitled to make a few in their life. For example, Larry King has been married a few dozen times and our southern neighbours elected the aberration, that is currently wrecking havoc everywhere. In the car world we see mistakes all the time. Take for instance this 1990's Maserati shown below......

For years, the Maserati name meant achingly beautiful exotics that competed with Ferrari, but had lines that would make folks go weak at the knees. Yeah, so this miscue from the 1990's can be forgiven. Nowadays Maserati is turning out pretty good looking designs, just maybe not the stunners that once bore the name.

I love showing a bit of history, so this blog won't be an exception........

All beautiful designs from Maserati's past. Designs that still would look great in my parking place today or tomorrow (I can wait). Not a bad line anywhere, except the bottom line, but such is life.

Rumour has it that Maserati is designing a ultra costly halo car for those oil sheiks or .com billionaires. Nothing definite yet, so we must be patient. Well maybe not all of us, as an Italian design house has dropped these pictures of what a once again, drop dead gorgeous Maserati should or could look like........

Isn't this more like those wet dreams of Maserati's past?  Is there a bad line on this rolling sculpture? Maybe scrap whatever is on the drawing boards at the head office and slot this one in instead?

Time for those people with more money than they should have to contact Maserati and nudge them in this design's direction. Tell them Barry wants to see one on his street!

Until next time........

Dino power

Way back in the mists of time and history, there was a period when cars were being saddled with new and confusing emissions equipment. Performance, if one could call it that, was abysmal. Want perspective? I had a 1976 Corvette with the "big" motor. 0-60 time was just over ten seconds. Beat that these days in any new Honda Civic. 

Then the almost unthinkable happened. In 1978 Car & Driver tested all the American "performance" cars to see which was the quickest (slowest?). The winner.........

No kidding, folks, this big ol' Dodge pick-up with those semi look-a-like exhaust pipes and a funny name, Lil' Red Truck, blew everything else into the proverbial weeds. For shame! Things had sunk so low that it had now come to this? A performance truck!

But as time passed, real car performance came back, but the idea of a hotted up pick-up stayed around and from time to time a new one was introduced........

This was the early '90's and the 454SS had an advertised 230 HP. Strong at the time. Ford also wanted in on the action and quick as lightning, they introduced the Lightning......

Each of these two had a limited life span, but the idea of a hot pick-up still stirred truck folks' souls. If a horsepower upgrade was interesting in a truck, then a big upgrade would be even more interesting, so Dodge jumped back into the fray and dropped a huge Viper V-10 into a good old boy's work truck.......

Good tire burning fun for a few years, but then again the idea was put aside by Dodge. Not so, Ford, as their Raptor started tearing up the roads and trails. Bragging rights as the toughest guy on the block with a cool 450 HP, less than the old Dodge SRT-10, but pretty dam good in light of it having no direct competitor......

Over the last few years Dodge was putting their Hellcat motor, that rockin' 707 HP power plant, into anything they could lay their hands on, even a Jeep. What was missing was a truck. All it took was time. Behold the 2021 Ram TRX (pronounced T-Rex, please)........

And to show those folks at Ford that FCA had a sense of humour, they included a couple of interesting engravings in this beast.......

Know your dinosaurs? If you do, you'll know that the raptor was fast, vicious, but small. The t-rex was HUGE, so leave it to those rascals on the other side of town to have an engine cover showing a t-rex eating a raptor. Want more humour? Then check out the size comparison depicted below the console cover. 

What fun, a hotted up pick-up truck war brewing for 2021. The weapon of choice? Your cheque book. This is going to get nasty.

Until next time......