Sept 2: Finally Porsche!

P-O-R-S-C-H-E. Say the word and the room goes quiet. Everyone is listening to hear what is going to be said about the world's and everywhere else's favorite sportscar. Yeah, maybe this is an exaggeration, but ever hear anything bad about this car? Sure, there was the original Turbo that could kill you, if you lifted, while in the midst of a corner, taken just a little bit too aggressively (look it up). But 99.99% of the time, this iconic car is put on a pedestal for all of us mere mortals to bow down before. It can't be perfect, can it? Where might it fall down? Well, this is a personal opinion (aren't they all?), but Porsche has produced some stinkers when it comes to looks. Let's take a look........

If you are wondering what you are supposed to be looking at, it's those ugly lights on the red Turbo. Just ask any Porsche owner, which recent model that they would shun and almost without exception, they'll point to the one with those ugly headlights. Nothing like the simple beauty of the later model below. Look, I understand, when you are tasked with redesigning the same car for fifty years, making it different while making it look the same, it's hard not to slip into mediocrity once in awhile.

Now with apologies to my friend and Targa owner, Keith, the next model that assaults my senses is the original Targa........

.......which anyone can see is frumpy and upright. The current generation below it, is drop dead gorgeous and to me out shines the iconic coupe in looks. It took those Porsche designers quite a while to get this one right, but the wait was worth it.

When Porsche decided they needed an suv (a very smart decision), they unveiled the Cayenne to almost unniversal dismay. Witness the gasps of horror or whatever, from the motoring press, when the wrap was taken off of this frog in the top pic........

Once again, the second time around proved the charm, as the current model looks great. Interesting that they sure nailed it with the new Macan (lesson learned?).

One thing to keep in mind through all of this ranting, is that Porsche sales have never suffered, even with these questionable efforts. But as a friend once said, it doesn't cost any more to design a good looking car, so why design an ugly one? Good point. But looking at those sales, why bother? Hey fellas, ever heard of something called pride?

Next up..........one of Porsche's biggest successes has been the atrocious Panamera........

This misbegotten design of a car, humpback and all, has unfortunately been with us for the past several years. I cringe every time I see one. Put the proud Porsche name on an ugly duckling and the sales make it a beautiful swan. But it is still that ugly duckling. Stay tuned folks, because Porsche is just about ready to right this visual wrong.........

This is the next Panamera, that should reach Porsche showrooms in the very near future. Every bit as good looking as the 911 coupe, this is the way the original should have come out of the designers' oven. Can't wait to see this car on the streets shaming the misbegotten original. If there is any justice, the used car lots should be filled with the original Panameras within the year. Or just send them all to the crusher, since they were/are such an affront to good design taste. 

So there you have it. Porsche can't do anything wrong, but as I've shown you, they do plenty wrong visually. Too bad those design misfits were such good handling cars, if they weren't, then we'd really have something to rant about.

Until next time........

Aug 30: How smart?

Now, let's get this straight right off the bat.......when I write smart in regards to the car, the "s" is not capitalized. Get it? Ok? I sure don't want to have the grammar techies chasing after me, saying that since it is a proper name, it should be capitalized. Since there is nothing "proper" about a smart car, it stays lower case. Whew! Now that's out of the way.

Seen a smart car before? Sure you have. Seen 1635 before? In one place? If you have, then you were in Hamburg, Germany recently for the smart gathering or whatever they call it, when these tiny cars congregate in one place to try and set some sort of unnecessary record.

 More smarts than you could shake a stick at, assuming you are the type of person who shakes sticks at smart cars. If you are, then your shaking arm has been packed in ice for the past few days (only the Queen is used to this type of thing). Imagine seeing that many of these odd little conveyances in one place? And no one is asking, "So, what do you drive?".

Imagine a smart and you'd see it in Hamburg. You'd even see ones, that you couldn't (or wouldn't want to) imagine? From a "monster" smart (it's all relative, ok?).........

.........to a stretch limo smart for those unpretentious, but smart, celebs.......

........to the whatever this one is supposed to be........

Think the world is crying out for a pick-up smart? If you can think it, some bright soul has transformed a smart into it. If you said, what about a popemobile? No, nice try, but think again, as a smart has been transformed into that one as well.......

Watch for it the next time his holiness comes to your town.

And production smarts to cover several niches. From the sportscar(?) smart.........

........to the family four door smart..........

..........to the decapitated smart for that "real bugs in your teeth" Sunday drive........

Yep, Hamburg was the place to be to see every type of smart and in multiples. Wait, you say that you have finally imagined a smart, that you are sure hasn't been done yet. Nope, wrong again, as some dubious soul has beaten your active imagination to the punch with this royally modified smart........

As I said initially, more smarts than you could imagine and every imaginable smart. And if you think that when you seen one smart car, you've seen them all, just ask all these attentive spectators why they are showing up in the thousands to view what are essentially the same car.........

Beats me.

Until next time.......

Aug 26: Lambo dreams

Ah, those memories! Nothing says SEX like a Lamborghini and back in the day, I remember fantasizing over this car (and quite possibly the rather hot looking, leather wrapped damsel leaning against it), when it appeared on the cover of Car & Driver magazine back in the '70's. Matter of fact, I think I only turfed it last year, when we moved from our house to the apartment. Probably fantasized then as well, as I packed it off to one of my friends. Lamborghini. If a guy didn't have a poster of a sports hero on his bedroom wall, he had a Lamborghini or maybe he had both. And it would have been the Countach........

Ever see one of these things driving towards you? Like looking at a flying door stop. For a car person, it is an amazing looking car. This is the car that made Lambo's reputation. This is the car that established the brand as the home of outrageous looking cars, named after famous fighting bulls (did you know that?). Didn't start out that way, with the design or the names.......

......but things evolved, as you can see with the lovely Muira from 1966, the first Lamborghini to be named after a bull.........

.........followed shortly by the unusual, pancake looking Espada.......

 This one followed the Muira by two years. Not named after a bull, but for the sword the matador uses to finish off the poor, unfortunate beast. Ok, those two established Lamborghini as a legitimate contender. Possibly even as competition for the hallowed Ferrari. But it was the Countach, that firmly set the future path this company would take.

Fast forward to the present day and the wildest Lambo to date, the oh so exclusive Veneno.......

Carrying on in the tradition of extremely wild designs, the Veneno would be very rare to the tune of a mere three units. One guess as to where those three were probably headed. You just know, it wasn't going to be Saint John, New Brunswick. One recently came back on the market for $11 million USD (Google it if you are interested).

But who can even contemplate air this rare? No, for us mere mortals the standard Lambo line up is far easier to accept and maybe even possible to own, if those dam lottery tickets would finally pay off. Cars like the subtle(?) by comparison Huracan........

Or the less than subtle Aventador.........

.....in your choice of coupe or roadster. The latter is much better to be seen in and who wants to spend all that coin and be subtle about it? No sir, flaunt it to the world. Saw a roadster going down my street the other day and I got to tell you, it sure did make a statement. No one seeing it would think that it was the new Honda.

Which brings us to last week's Pebble Beach Concours. This high society event has grown to become a car person's nirvana. Everything one could ever want shows up there and now the manufacturers use it as a venue to shown off new concept cars or a new model. Now understand, Honda and Toyota won't be unveiling anything there anytime soon, but Mercedes, Cadillac and this year Lamborghini stepped up in a big way.

Trust wild and crazy Lamborghini to wow the champagne and caviar crowd with the latest Centenario, in this case the roadster.......

I could bore you with power outputs, buts let's be honest, you know that it will be plenty, so enough said. A volume model compared the ultra rare, Veneno, there will be forty made, twenty coupes, twenty roadsters. You better know, that if you haven't already reserved one, you are s___ out of luck, no matter how much you won in last weekend's lottery.

Ah, Lamborghini. Again, nothing says SEX like a Lamborghini. Nothing says, nail me to your bedroom wall, like a pic of their latest wild creation from Italy. And what Lamborghini picture would be complete without a comely damsel draping her sensuous body over its sensuous body? Let the fantasies begin.

Until next time........

Aug 23: A weekend away

Yes, this is one whopping big off shore boat. Stats? Two jet turbine engines each producing 3000 HP! The heat from the two giant exhausts, each about  two feet in diameter, can be felt thirty or forty feet away. A nice little weekend run about, assuming your weekend runs are at 224 MPH (358 KPH for us Canadians)! This was the centre piece of the weekend Poker Run in Kingston, Ontario. We were visiting my brother, taking in these hot rod boats, dining at a nearby winery and also going to a local, weekly old car show. The boats were great, but this blog is about things on wheels, not on trailers, so let's move along, shall we? I haven't been to a cruise night in Toronto this year, so I was looking forward to see what showed up in Kingston. Not a lot of cars, but a nice amount and interesting.

What says the '50's better than a long and low, baby blue convertible (no, not a cabrio) packing one of those, in my mind ugly, continental rear tire mounts?

This Meteor was a Canada only car, a slight modification of a Ford, but one that could be sold by Monarch dealers (another Canada only car). Speaking of which........

 Another '50's icon a chopped top Mercury, except this one is a Monarch. Slight grille change, but otherwise the same car. Chopped Mercs are common, but a chopped Monarch, not so much.

These days, every show has to have a few rat rods. Rat rods? Those cars built for personal enjoyment, not for show.

These two are slightly evolved from real ratty rat rods, but a far cry from this old Willys, that was beautifully turned out with immaculate paint and bodywork, more my kind of hot rod. Check out those lines .........

Every old car is welcome, but a 1989 Cadillac? Nothing special for sure, but it did fit the criteria of being more than twenty five years old (next time scrub those whitewalls for Pete's sake). No picture of that one.

Personally, although I enjoy all the old cars, I really go for the cars of my youth. The ones that bring back those nostalgic memories of the cars, that I either really liked or had experience with in my hometown. Cars like this '64 Pontiac or the '69 AMX or the seldom seem '66 Olds convertible.........

And definitely these two big bruisers, a '64 Galaxie and a '64 Dodge, which resonated muscle, before the intermediate cars like the GTO took over the crown from them......

 

 And of course, any car running those great looking Torq Thrust rims always looks good in my eyes (remember Steve McQueen's Bullit Mustang?). And weren't those old interiors just a little much, although this one is a bit subdued compared to many. Nothing says the fifties and sixties like red and white, whether it is this vinyl interior or the '59 Edsel wagon below it.......

And beside this Edsel is that, give me a break, '89 Cadillac. And with the hood up no less to show everyone that weakling motor. Now I ask you, was that really necessary?

One final question.......with a choice of two very nice Japanese cars or 'Murican iron, what would you drive to the cruise night? Yes, that was the right answer.......

......and although my brother's Mustang's wheels are not my favorite, the Torq Thrust, they sure do have the look. And speaking of my brother, yes, he is in one of the pics above. Something for him to look for as he peruses today's blog.

All in all a great weekend. Hot boats, old cars and very good food. This car guy's heaven. Oh, and one more thing, also having my wife with me (whew, that was close).

Until next time.........

Aug 19: Straddle Bus!

Great idea in these days of mass transit and trying to figure out how the heck a city moves more people efficiently and effectively. This pic is of the recently unveiled "straddle bus". Yes, I know, it is more of a train, but hey, I didn't name it. Cities have tried a variety of ways to get more of their citizens to work quickly and easily over the years. Of course the easiest way was to go up........

.....as these two pics of London buses show. That city was the champion in this regard, so much so that when one thinks of a double decker bus, one automatically thinks of jolly old London. Right? Since then a few other municipalities have taken London's lead. Here in Toronto we have the GO (government of Ontario) system which has about fifty of these double deckers......

Can you think of one thing that might go wrong with something this high. Think about their high centre of gravity and then think about a corner taken just a tad too quickly.......

Yep, all too easy to see the result, like what has happened to this two story tour bus. The other problem is those low bridges, that you just didn't take into account when planning your route. No pics of that, as they are way too gruesome, if you get my drift.

A better way might be to add on to the current buses. Should be able to get a few more seats, without the worry of those sharp corners or too low overpasses. Think I'm the first person to come up with this idea?

Not a chance. In Toronto we use these, but with only one addition, not like this super long, train like bus with its two additions. Come to think of it, wonder how this one gets around those tight corners - with a wing and a prayer, perhaps? Quite frankly, I don't know how any of these big buses or big trucks navigate our city streets without creating havoc and mayhem in their wake.

So who has a better idea? Well, back to the straddle bus..........

Not in use yet and maybe it never will be a fixture on a big city's super busy streets (nice scale model, though). But the proposal has been made. A few points.........since it is actually a train or streetcar (see those rails), it definitely has limitations. Want to know another big one? This thing can clear vehicles up to just over six feet high. Think about all those Escalade drivers or those high roofed delivery vans. Sure, there will be warning signs about the height limitations on the straddle bus lanes, but who reads them? While this thing is supposed to straddle vehicles, as it makes its way over traffic jams, there will always be some idiot sitting there, throwing a wrench into this whole concept. And let's not even think about a accident stopping this thing, since it can't go around those kind of problems.

By the way, think this is a new idea, friendo? Not a chance, as this old (check the date) magazine cover shows.........

Isn't this the straddle bus, envisioned with a few minor mods? And it's sensibly higher. Of course, a city might have to tear down a few overpasses along its route, to make this baby fly.

But let's go back to the past's view of the future one more time for possibly the best idea yet........

Climbs mountains, but just think about its use in our cities. All those municipalities trying to think outside the box, can thank me for moving the process along. Say tuned for more bright ideas from your car guy blogger.

And look up.....is it a bird, a plane? No, it's the straddle bus!

Until next time.......