Oct 3: Need a tank?

 Just when you think that those anti-gun advocates might be considering taking action again your freedom of armed expression, you see this ad. Sure, I know, it's from an English company, but with a little web research, one must be able to find something similar stateside. It's one thing to have a gun but, one also needs the exterior protection, that only an armed vehicle will provide. But, let's not just think about shooting, as there are a multitude of very good (and imaginative) uses for surplus armament. The above ad gives you an idea. Apart from the clean shaves, this could and should be a picture from Duck Dynasty. This ex-military unit would take you anywhere, so those geese, ducks or whatever, no longer have anywhere that they can hide.

Paint it up in a drab, but not so intimidating shade of gray and head to your favorite wooded area. With its little tag-a-long, you could stay out for days, living off the fat of the land. If there is going to be a nuclear apocalypse, all your neighbours will want to escape with you. Things could get nasty, so make darn sure that you keep a few heavy arms in your little tracked vehicle at all times.

Think that you'd like something a little heavier? Maybe you aren't such a good shot and a few of those ducks are getting away? Then how about a surplus tank? With a little ingenuity, one could get those big guns up and running again, no problem. Think that these big boys might be hard to find?

Think again friendo, as these are all surplus units awaiting sale to the right buyer. Your competition, of course, will be some thrill seeking third world nation, but hey, life is all about competition. And besides, they don't hunt (at least not wildlife). And another good thing about a tank, is that they are easy to work on........

Have a few friends over, a case of brew, a few pizzas and your maintenance issues are all but solved. And they'll enjoy the experience. Dents? Who cares about dents and what the heck is going to dent one of these monsters?

Tanks are great but, just how practical are they for cruising the city streets on your way home? Right, not very. So back to the surplus lot to see what else might catch your eye........

........now we're talking. This behemoth would be right at home on the range, in the woods or at your local Tim Horton's drive thru. Picture it. Lots of respect and no more begging for extra condiments ("Don't make me come down there.").

But you've always been a bit of an environmentalist, so smashing thru the underbrush in one of these, sort of goes against your beliefs. You need, want, desire something a little bit more nature friendly.........

.......yes, sir, this is just about right. Those smaller wheels won't wreck havoc with every bunny's home, but will still get you where you need to be - out in the back country shootin' game.

But enough of the shootin' and violence. What if you own a small landscaping company, but can't quite scrape together enough coin for brand new equipment? Well then, surplus military hardware would be the only way to go.

 Pull up to give a quote in this baby and I absolutely guarantee that the job will be yours. Subtle persuasion doesn't always need to be that subtle.

So get those creative juices going and think of all the uses you'd have for one of these fine vehicles. And just think of all the stories that metal could tell, if only it could talk.

One more thing........when you are happily driving thru the wilderness in your new and intimidating ride, please remember who turned you on to this great vehicle. You're welcome.

Until next time........