Oct 28: Halloween (again!)

October 31st! What could be scarier than the scariest night of the year? The night, when all those little tykes and errant youth, that you have scorned the other 364 days of the year, get their chance at revenge. Load up with treats, as all those miscreants are going to come knocking at your door, looking to unburden you of those sweet goodies you have bought for everyone. No matter what you think of them, you'd better be generous. Treat or trick and you know which one of those you don't want to be subjected to. Halloween, scarier than ol' pumpkin head in his rusty old Ford pick me up. What could possibly be more frightening? Lots of things and to a car person, nothing could be scarier than sitting down on All Hallows' Eve to watch a marathon of car related horror movies. Think Jaws was a hair raiser, well you ain't seen nothing yet.

Think car horror movies (or horrible car movies) and I bet the first that comes to mind is that Stephen King chestnut, Christine........

A car guy's dream ride. One that would wreck vengeance on anyone foolish enough to mess with its beloved owner, Arnie Cunningham. And even better, when Christine, the '58 Plymouth in the title role, got scratched, dented or worse, leave her alone for a few hours and she'd magically repair herself. What a car! Sign me up.

Dig a little deeper and you'll come across less well known, but equally scary and implausible, other car movies to add to your Halloween night marathon. How about The Hearse?

Don't know anything about this golden(?) oldie, but any ad showing an old Packard hearse has got to be worth watching. If it turns out to be a stinker, use this time to answer the door, when those needy kids come knocking. If it's a goodie, then just ignore them.

Ever had to go after your car (or any car) with a gun? Neither have I or have most Canadians. Now with our friends to the south, that is a completely different story. James Brolin in one of his less memorable roles (he has memorable ones?) faces down The Car..........

Nasty business, but what is a mere six shooter going to do when up against this evil black and possessed ride? Rent it and find out. See if this mom and her adorable little son, can out run The Car.......

As your night of terror grinds on, unknown classics like Wheels of Terror.........

 .....or another Stephen King drama of metal gone bad.........

........will fill your night with dread and fear of ever stepping foot outside your home again. You'll nurse dreams of time spent in a pedestrian mall.

Now that you've gotten past the preliminaries, it's time to anticipate the main attractions. One is probably unknown to most of you, but an excellent time waster, while the other is the scariest mad machinery movie ever to grace the silver screen. Well, actually, it never did show in theatres, but more about that shortly.

Get ready for Killdozer..........

Be honest, who amongst you hasn't woken up in a cold sweat after a nightmare about the excavator next door coming after you? Or worse, a giant bulldozer, that due to some un-imagined paranormal activity has been turned into a Killdozer........

This one never hit the big screen, but was very entertaining. Take a huge machine with attitude, six men and an island (I think), put them together in a pot and stir. What do you get? Mayhem, terror, death! And a great way to pass ninety minutes of your life, that you'll never get back again. Think about that.

Now on to the best of them all. No evil possession. No improbable self restoring Plymouth. No mindless machinery set on killing all those in its path. No, nothing but sheer suspense and terror. Picture yourself having a pleasant drive across the US southwest, when in a moment of ill conceived annoyance, you piss off a lunatic in a nasty old tractor trailer, who has it in his mind to kill you........

 This basically one actor movie was Steven Spielberg's first effort. Although it was released in theatres in other countries, in North America it was a Thursday night movie. Poor old Dennis Weaver, in his greatest role, is chased across the desert by this nutbar and his smoke belching rig..........

A nutbar, that we never ever see. I remember coming home late from work and my mum, told me about this amazing movie she had just watched on TV. Sounded unusual. Eventually I did get to see it and you could say that it was a land version of Spielberg's other horror epic, Jaws.

So, by now, your horror watching binge has lasted well into the next morning. You are absolutely way too paranoid to leave your home, as well as being too tired to put in a full day's work. A quick call to an unsympathetic boss, leaves you without a job. Now the real horror begins.

Until next time.......