October 29: Another club member

Unbeknownst to most people, there is a very exclusive club, but it is one to which few want to belong. This club is made up of the ugliest cars ever to put tires to asphalt.  No bragging rights here, eh? Of course, a charter member is the long unlamented Pontiac (remember that brand?) Aztec.......

Not even puppy dog cute. This ugly as sin vehicle didn't have a good line anywhere. Actually a very good suv(?) hidden under more warts than the ugliest of toads. A Miss Congeniality winner for sure.

Joining the Aztec in this exclusive club is this unfortunate soul.......

A car to make the Aztec look almost normal. Park this monstrosity in front of your house on Halloween and your candy bowl will still be full at night's end. Pity the poor Marcos Mantis. Hard to believe that a few people actually bought this..........whatever?  But then this British company sold to those islanders, who do exhibit strange taste from time to time when it comes to cars.

Just when I thought that the ugly car club wouldn't add any new members, this Dutch treat shows up in my rearview..........

Simply called the Donkervoort D8 GTO JD70. Surely I jest, but sadly I don't.  Ok, from this distance and view, the Donkervoort, etc is not half bad, so let's take a closer look to see if it really should be admitted to the ugly car club........

Yep, it's the newest member. Fortunately a picture is worth a thousand words, so I don't have to beat my keyboard up brutalizing the poor old Donkervoort. What? You are interested in one? Ok, a bit of background.........this company has been around for forty years, their car weighs 678 kg and the power 380 hp. Mull over those last two numbers, weight and power. Any wonder why this "unusual" looking machine hits 0-100 kms in 2.7 seconds! You'd arrive almost before you left.

How much, you ask? $180k USD. You'd be the only one on your block and thank gawd for that.

File this beast under the "build it and they will buy it" category. Hand built by Dutch artisans in wooden clogs, I think the rest of us might be happier if the dams broke and swallowed up this little independent forever. Or, if they hired a real designer, instead of using the bone the owner's dog has chewed up and basing the design on that.

When I go to bed tonight, I think I'll say a quick prayer, that this club should close its doors and admit no new members out of kindness to the eyes of the world.

Until next time........

October 23: Hola!

Hola? Well, maybe I have that wrong, since today's blog is about a little gem from Brazil and that country my friends, is Portuguese, not Spanish. Get a load of this........

In our suv and Jeep crazy world, seeing a picture like this will make many of you break out in a cold sweat, while getting hot all over. Kind of what the feeling would be, when you are in your front yard with your family, when the hottie next door gives you a big smile and a come hither look. But, that is a story for someone else's blog and it ain't R rated.

This little toughie is the Ford Troller T4. Ford? That is correct. Ford bought the Troller company back in 2007. Now the T4 is built on the current Ranger pick up platform.

Capable and perfect for the rough countryside of the Brazilian outback. Likely it will seldom see those mud filled bogs, if those Brazilians are anything like we folks north of Mexico. Point is, the Troller T4 can grind its way out of some pretty tough situations.

 Have you seen Jeep sales lately? Just the Wrangler sales alone topped 240,000 units in 2018. What makes this so impressive is that back in 2009, its sales were only about 82,000. Any car company exec would sacrifice their soul for that increase in that short a time. So back to the Troller T4. Question. Why is Ford keeping this macho model way down south?

There has been talk of a new Ford Bronco model, since that killer ex-football player made the model famous with his desperate drive around LA a few years back. Word is that it will show up in 2020, probably as a 2021 release. Another question. With the sales of all 4x4's at a fever pitch, wouldn't a Jeep clone be perfect for our market to sell along side a new Bronco? Take a look at the Troller's interior........

Civilized, so with very little touching up, this Mighty Mouse could be parked off road in your 'hood. And of course, for those backwoods types, the Troller T4 could do some serious off roading. You know, those places where life, limb and fenders are put at risk to forge narrow trails, creek beds and small mountains. All in the name of "because it is there".

Wake up, Ford. Smell the coffee, even if it is from Columbia. Get those engineers working at federalizing the Troller T4, so that you too can grab a chunk of the wild in the country market. Give the Wrangler the competition, that no one else in North America has.

Until next time........

October 16: Kinky?

Hofmeister kink?

What is that? A thought to be extinct, small amphibian, found on an even smaller, never before visited, island off the coast of Africa by a naturalist, who by chance was shipwrecked nearby? Good guess, but no, not correct. Does this picture ring a bell.......

Now, you get it. This is the now famous, or at least very well known, and ubiquitous Hofmeister kink, used on BMW's since way back when. Attributed to their design chief Wilhelm Hofmeister (1955-1970), it has been a BMW design feature forever. A little sampling, please.......

See? It goes way back. This is a good look and it has been adopted (copied?) by almost everyone over the years........Honda, Hyundai, Infiniti, etc, etc. But, and this is a big BUT, BMW's designers didn't originate this feature, they just embraced it and made it their own, so everyone else appears to have copied BMW's roof design. So who was first?

Surprised?

Now the 2020 models are appearing and one would expect BMW's latest to carry on with this tradition. Well, maybe, maybe not. Checkout the soon to be released (and beautiful) M8 Gran Coupe (ok, it's a sedan, but I digress).........

Not quite the famous kink. See anything else about this car that looks familiar? Not sure? Ok, take a look at this other recent model.......

Almost the same roof line, the vent on the front fender and the lower body line. Looks like the tables have turned. Companies that once might have copied BMW are now being copied by BMW. Or, at least in this one case. The white car is, of course, the Kia Stinger. Lauded for it sparkling BMW like performance, so maybe not so much a stretch, that the M8 should appear to copy this car. Just unusual. A wonderful coincidence, at least for the Kia driver, whose ride might be mistaken for a car, that is kissing three times its price.

So back to that ages old kink...........BMW copies Chevrolet, everyone copies BMW and now BMW copies Kia. And the car world goes around and around.

Until next time........

October 8: Muscular marketing

So cute and a great way to market those amazing(?) energy drinks of yours, that apparently give you wings. Maybe, maybe not, I don't use them so I don't know. Since I prefer driving, I don't think I'll bother. Now, a couple of coffees a day are another matter. Milk only please.

Back to those custom built marketing tools. Wonder who buys them when they run out of energy?

Red Bull, the international brand, that reaps money like my hundreds of model cars collect dust. The cost of  these mobile marketing tools are a mere pittance, compared to the multi millions Red Bull spends in Formula One and many other sports. But I digress, the kinder and gentler rolling marketing tool is taking an aggressive turn. For the better or worse, you decide.

The other day, I saw their latest and very muscular rolling advertisement.........

 

Now, what the heck does this say about Red Bull? Maybe their drinks now give you more than wings? This is their latest AEV, armoured event vehicle. Go figure. Whether it is actually armoured, who knows, but quite a change from those adorable Mini's. The basis of this scary beast? Check it out.......

A Land Rover Defender 130. Take off a few panels, add a few more, matte black paint, some graphics and Red Bull's latest is all set to scare small kids. Park this on your block on Halloween and no one has to worry about running out of goodies for those goblins.

Doing some research, I found that this isn't the first of Red Bull's urban warfare machines......

Nor is it the second........

Where have I been? I guess selling those energy drinks is a tough business these days. Fighting for shelf space can get messy.

No longer is there a place for those fresh faced young lovelies giving out samples, if you would like one.......

..........now you will like one or else.......

Ah, how marketing has changed, as we move into the trench warfare being fought in grocery stores across our great land. Pull up in Red Bull's latest AEV and decimate that pesky competition.

Muscular marketing or simply moving with the times?

Until next time........

October 1: Too cute for wheels!

Too cute for wheels? Wheels, words, get it? Gawd, how I hate cute phrases like this and it makes me cringe to use it as the title of this week's blog, but boy does it fit. A couple of weeks back, I wrote about the Japanese kei little, miniscular mini-van (you get the picture?) parked across the street from our home. Now here is another one from that island nation, the Suzuki Sambar.........

No, I haven't seen one of these in TO, but in my kei research, I came across this van from Suzuki, which has acquired a second, third, fourth and maybe even more life as something else. What's that you say? Here's the deal......a Japanese company called Modest Cars (I love companies that are humble) has taken this cuddly little model and given it several new lives as an ersatz something else. Ok, I can see that you are confused, so let's cut to the chase with a few worth-a-1000 words pictures.........

Modest Cars does conversions. They've taken the "wheely" cute Sambar and with the addition of a few new body panels, converted it into a VW look-a-like. And who doesn't like the look of the old Vdub microbus? Missing the roof's small side windows, but hey, who cares, since the vibe is bang on. This conversion could even fool Stevie Wonder.

Not content to sell a make believe VW, Modest cars has also reached deep into the old Soviet vehicles archives and pulled out a tough as nails Gaz van..........

Why they have done this, I've no idea. Does this old Iron Curtain mobile tug at the heartstrings of the Japanese? Good question and I can't answer it for my loyal readers. 

Another old favorite (really?) is this corrugated van from Citroen............

..........now rejuvenated as a Modest Cars conversion, shown here on the upper left along with a sampling of their other works of transformation..............

Has to be seen to be believed, eh? Who would have thought that a mundane smaller than small van would lend itself to these multiple new personalities. By the way, note the "X" on the pink VW knock off. Think some astute German law firm might have sent them a cease and desist letter, when they saw the actual VW logo appear on the earlier conversions?

And lest you think that these are mere toys, Modest Cars has run the ad below.......

Good to know that they take their Sambar conversions seriously.

Want a VW knock off? A Soviet history lesson? A French confection? Or something resembling a refugee from the '70's custom van culture? Look no further than these half scale mini's from Modest Car. Be the first on your block or in your city or province or country. Wheely cute classic rides for cheap.

Until next time.......